#3: Pinocchio's Pizza (Harvard Square)

Or: In which we would love Harvard Square if it weren't for the goddamn people.

Verdict: No objections.

Hello again, Pizzalings-

There was a brief pause in our epic pizza quest while your heroines pursued other tasty foods; suffice it to say Boston does Restaurant Week(s) better than it does pizza. But fear not; we are back with a renewed sense of purpose - by which we mean "craving for pizza."

This evening we braved Harvard Square (and all that entails) to check in on Pinocchio's.

When we walked in to an empty restaurant, we were concerned. Would they have nothing to do but watch us take pictures?

(We took some pictures while we were the only ones, anyway. We have no shame.)

Fear not, chickadees, the place filled up before we had to worry about public embarrassment, and the man behind the counter was gruff, but content to get us some pizza. So content, in fact, that he made us a larger pie than we asked for. Fortunately (for everyone) he charged us for a small. Unfortunately, the pizza took its revenge on Tella's hand - twice.

Which is to say, that this is not a pizza for the grease-phobic - it is plentiful and it is hot. Trust us on this; bad pizza isn't the only pain we go through so you don't have to. That said, as we are from Jersey, where pizza often comes with a free beverage, we were undeterred. Which is for the best, because the pizza doesn't suck.

(Non-sucky pizza, we are glad to see you.)

In fact, our dear little monkeys, we had no major objections to this pizza. The crust was unremarkable, but a good thickness and structurally sound. Your asskicking adventurers would once again like to express differing crust opinions: both appreciate its slight crunch, but Aggie says it had a vaguely flavor (but not a truly pleasant favorite) that Tella did not notice.

We were agreed that the cheese was tasty if a strange texture - not bad, just noticeable. The sauce was hard to notice, as it was boring and lacking in quantity. There was however, the perfect amount of oregano. We wouldn't have noticed its absence, but we found its presence a delightful surprise.

The atmosphere was pretty standard: comfortable, despite its metal chairs. Small, but not crowded. Entertainingly decorated with soccer players, mermaids, and its name sake.

(Pinocchio is wearing short shorts next to a crab. Your argument is invalid.)

All in all, we're glad we found something enjoyable about Harvard Square. Now if only the hipsters would get off our lawn.

STATS:

Pros! :)

• Ambiance (Yes, that is the phrase we'd use in Jersey.)
• Tasty, slidey cheese
• Extra (free) pizza
• Oregano
• Delicious pepperoni

Cons! :(

• Unimpressive sauce
• Burned Tella twice
• In Harvard Square 

Until next time, Boston,

Tella & Aggie  

#2: Brookline Spa (Brookline Village)

Or: Son of a slice!

Verdict: Would eat again.

First and foremost, dear readers, you should know that your pizza guides are children of the nineties. As such, our very favorite part of the Brookline Spa was its 90s roller rink soundtrack. The fact that Aggie will continue to be seen with Tella after her stunning cash register rendition of “If You Could Only See” is a tribute to her deep and abiding love for you…or maybe just her devotion to pizza.

(Also - Dear Brookline: You are a most charming town, but ultimately annoying to get to.  Love, Us)

And speaking of pizza, we managed to get an actual pie this time: half cheese, half sausage and pepperoni, as promised, from a monosyllabic guy behind the counter, who was remarkably indulgent of our desire to eat in what was a glorified convenience store.

(OM NOM NOM)

Frankly, we would definitely eat this again. We even brought the leftovers home. The cheese was surprisingly tasty and extra mobile - as Aggie discovered when she picked up a slice and immediately dropped all the cheese back onto the box, her pants, and a large portion of the floor (because, of course, we are badasses who have no use for plates).  Sadly, the sauce providing the mobility was sub-par: not terrible, but not something you would eat if given a choice.

Your noble narrators are in minor disagreement about the crust. We’re agreed that it was an excellent thickness, if not particularly structurally sound; but Tella believes crust should taste less like breadsticks, and Aggie apparently does not. So, make of that what you will, arbiters of taste.

 (The pizza appears to have dropped its pants!)

(*flop*)

As for atmosphere, your darling diners will eat anywhere that sells both pizza and toilet paper. Brookline Spa does not have tables, but it does have a variety of things you wouldn’t expect from your average corner pizza place (or spa), including Wonder Bread, toilet paper, and coffee.

Also, they are remarkably tolerant of rocking out.

STATS:

Pros!  :)

• Music
• Sauce-cheese balance
• Good cheese
• Crust thickness

Cons!  :(

• Sub-par sausage
• Unremarkable sauce
• No tables

Until next time, Boston,

Tella & Aggie