Ernesto's (North End)

Or, in which we put a lot of things in quotes.

Verdict: No.

We've been gone for a while, we know. As with her ancient counterpart, Aggie is why you can't have nice things. It appears there is an upper limit to her pizza tolerance. Tella is skeptical of anyone who claims to be sick of pizza and also be from New Jersey. When informed of this, though, Aggie got all sassy, so we'll take her word for it for now.

We are back in the game in Boston's grossest weather yet, to investigate Ernesto's in the North End. You may remember that the North End is one of our very favorite places, but not the scene of delicious pizza memories. Ernesto's, we are sorry to say, is no exception.



It took Tella 3 tries to get this shot without capturing
an innocent bystander. We told you it was crowded.

Ernesto's is a delightful place, filled with real life New Jerseyans -- or at least people close enough to pass. They have Frank Sinatra on their walls (and their speakers). It was crowded, but didn't feel crowded. And since your heroes have never been fond of the hoi polloi, that's an impressive feat.

Unfortunately, their pizza was not nearly so impressive. Aggie was starving, so she was particularly forgiving. Tella is never forgiving, especially when it comes to bad pizza (and bad drivers). Technically, we cannot judge their driving, but we're still judging their pizza.

The pizza was huge. The toppings were plentiful. The pepperoni was crisp and delicious. The rest of it... was kind of a disaster.

Giant pizza is giant. (Plate included for scale.)

The cheese tasted funny: Tella thought it tasted weirdly sour; Aggie tasted more eggs than she is comfortable with in cheese. The sausage was fluffy, which both your intrepid adventurers find a bit too daring for their tastes. And speaking of taste, it didn't have much of one. Between the pepperoni (yay!) and the sausage (boo!) the pizza became less a "food" and more a "burny puddle of hot grease" which Tella discovered when she burned herself twice. (You may be noticing a pattern. Tella prefers to describe her eating habits as "bold" rather than "incompetent".)

Even things which should have been endearing ended up more "frustrating." The slidey cheese we consider a requirement for Jersey style pizza ended up in a puddle on our plates (and we needed about a dozen each). The floppy crust we hoped indicated the proper thickness really just -- wasn't. More toppings were lost. Sauce (and grease) fell like rain. And to add insult to injury (literally, of course), it wasn't cooked evenly. In places, it was actually gooey.

In the end, as with all disappointments, your narrators sought solace in baked goods (and espresso), returning to our favorite North End haunt, Caffé Vittoria. Perhaps if we ever find edible pizza, our next adventure will be cheesecake quest.

Solace: achieved.

STATS:

Pros!  :)

• Run by Jersey-style Italians
• Good pepperoni
• Giant pizza
• Good ambiance

Cons! :(

• Fluffy sausage
• Bad cheese
• Messy
• Rogue floppy crust